There is really no easy way to broach the subject of push presents–a gift of jewelry given to the mother (by the significant other) upon the birth of her child. I sway back and forth on the subject enough to give me whiplash; at times I find it to be a sneaky marketing tactic employed by jewelry companies to take advantage of preggers hormones, other times I find the gesture to be incredibly poignant and a wonderful way of acknowledging a woman’s sacrifice as a mother. I suspect my feelings on the topic depend largely on the circumstances.
Never Demand a Push Pressie
I don’t think one should ever ask for a present. Gifts should be given because it brings joy to the giver, not because he or she will be deprived of love, sex, food or shelter if he/she fails to deliver. There is nothing sadder to me than a person who feels obliged to give a gift–it highlights the brittleness of the relationship between the giver and the recipient.
If you really want something to commemorate the intensive 12 hours of grueling (so I hear) labor that you will endure but your significant other is totally clueless–he thinks he is going to be in the waiting room smoking a cigar a la Bugs Bunny cartoons (seriously, some men that I know very well. . .ah hem. . .actually think this is how the events will unfold)–you STILL should not ask for a push present. The solution? Buy one for yourself. No one said push presents had to come from another person. If you would like a little reward or souvenir and your partner doesn’t pick up on it, procure it yourself. It’s the 21st century woman, you are entitled to buy yourself jewels!
If You Have a Push Present Foisted Upon You
Lucky girl, receive it well. Most push presents are surprises so like it or not, if your significant other is thoughtful enough to gift you a little glitter, you would be well advised to be appreciative of it. I say this mostly for training purposes (its OK, Immigrant Husband rarely reads this far into my posts)–if you react positively to every present you are given, he/she will continue to give you presents; on the other hand, if you complain or criticize gifts that you are given, expect gifts to dwindle. It’s psychology 101 people–positive reinforcement will encourage the behavior.
Push Present Ideas
Any piece of jewelry makes for a wonderful push present. Whether you like to splurge or keep it small and personal the sentiment should always take center-stage. Rachel Zoe received a 10 carat Neil Lane diamond ring from her husband after the birth of her baby, Sarah Jessica Parker was given a dainty charm bracelet and Jay-Z gifted Beyoncé with a blue tanzanite ring after giving birth to Blue Ivy.
I prefer a personal albeit, more sublet touch. As an alternative to a giant gaudy knuckle duster with the name of your baby blinged out in diamonds, I’ve designed rings and earrings with the baby’s initials worked into the underside of the crown or backing as a subtle reminder that is kept close to you but not necessarily flaunted to the world. If you prefer a more visible reminder, initialed or dated charms and pendants are quite sweet and look modern clumped together on a longer diamond by yard chain.
Jean & Alex, diamond ring set in platinum.
As a designer, I have to admit to loving push presents because it embodies everything that I cherish about the bespoke jewelry process. The journey of getting to know the mother-to-be (or the couple) in order to design a unique piece of jewelry with sentimental value to them is a beautiful thing. Every time I work with clients on a push present, the love they have for each other comes through and the anticipation and unconditional love for the little peanut on the way is palpable. When I create a piece that comes from such strong positive emotions (yes, I’m writing this with full knowledge that I’m slipping into Eat Pray Love sappiness) the creative process is incredibly rewarding and the satisfaction that I get from delivering the finished product can only be surpassed by the pleasure the giver derives from seeing his wife’s or husband’s (boys don’t push but they can still get pressies) pleasure when receiving and wearing the bauble. This is why you should never demand a push present, it totally ruins the warm fuzzies!
Big Kiss and Bigger Diamonds,